Baby Fever

Since I've had Rowyn I've had this baby fever that just wont let up. I've made lists of baby names, pictured how I would set up Rowyn's room to share with the new baby if we're still in our apartment when it comes, made a precise schedule for when I would try according to what month I'd like to have the baby in and how old Rowyn would be when new baby comes. I've kept this overwhelming feeling at bay by 1. Having Mirena (which I have to get taken out by an OBGYN) waiting until I have my license and reminding myself every time Rowyn has a melt down and she has bad days that if I had another baby right now it would just be that much harder and to wait until Rowyn is a bit bigger and can understand more things to start trying. I've made a countdown for trying to conceive. 10 months and counting until I plan on going all sorts of baby crazy on Brennan. I just keep imagining our little family growing and Rowyn becoming a big sister, watching them play together and having a sisterly bond.
But I also know that I didn't want to have my babies back to back since I started so young, I want to savor their moments being tiny and make it so my baby's will have cousins around their age. I'd also like to have my last baby around the same time my friends (who are my age) are having kids so that we can have little play dates.
I adore my baby girl and for right now having more can wait a while so that I can fully enjoy her while she's still little...she's getting so big so fast. It seems like just yesterday that we brought her home and now she's going to be 14 months in just a few days. She's becoming a big girl right in front of my eyes and it makes me sad to think about how small she was just 6 months ago. It seems like all of the "big" growing up has happened so fast. Since the beginning of December she has just taken off. Her first steps quickly turned into walking across the room, her first pair of real hard bottom shoes so that she can walk outside, and learning to run like a little robot. Her first tooth is (finally) coming in and soon her little gummy smile will be gone. She's learning to communicate her wants and understanding her actions. She's learning to help clean up and how to be gentle (it just melts my heart when I tell her to "be soft" and "make nice hands" and she goes from slapping my face to patting me and then giving me the sweetest little hugs.).
I never imagined I would love being a mommy this much, especially since I never wanted kids before I got pregnant. Even while I was pregnant I said "okay, but ONLY this one." But after I had her. I saw her beautiful face and smelled her little baby scent (there should totally make an air freshener that's called "new baby smell" sort of like "new car smell") I kissed her tiny feet and hugged her tight and I knew that this was the best feeling in the world. I had never loved anything this much and I knew that I wanted this love to grow. A baby will change you and change everything you pictured for your life...but it changes for the good. It shows you what you REALLY want and what the important things are.
I love my job as a mommy, I've never wanted to do anything more.