Project 31 day 6

Day 6.  Jaded beauty.  Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?

When I read this question my first instinct was to put no, that I have never been jaded by the world's definition of beauty but I don't think that would be true. I think that the world has so much of an influence on what "beautiful" is that the lines between what the world thinks and what I think are blurred. When it comes to things like clothing, paint colors, furniture and other home decor the world's opinion doesn't really matter much to me anymore. When I was 13 the world's opinion on the amount of my personal style didn't mean much to me. The world's opinion on my blue hair didn't mean diddly squat to me.

But the world's opinion on a beautiful body..that has ALWAYS jaded me in one way or another. I'm really not upset by that though. I don't hold unreal expectations to look like the stick thin model in my Cosmo magazine..I really don't. I DO want to be thinner than I am now, I want to be healthy. Only because I know that my body now is NOT healthy. It may be beautiful to my husband but it's not beautiful to me. That may be a bad thing, actually I'm pretty sure it is. I just really don't mind much, it is motivation for me to get healthy and be healthy for my daughter. It's an opportunity for me to teach my daughter to live a healthier life and it's an opportunity for me to see my body as beautiful and be happy with it. How can I really be happy with my body if I know that I'm not doing anything to prevent what it is I don't like. If I were trying to be healthy, and my body still looked like this, I'd probably think it was beautiful because that means that obviously this is the way god intended me to be...but I can't think that I'm doing everything in my power to be healthy while eating a large pizza and pretty much living for food.

So I guess, yeah, the world's view of beauty HAS jaded me in some ways...but I may as well use it to my advantage as a way to better my life. 

Sincerely,

Lea